Are words like non-binary, gender fluid something that you think about or identify with?
What does the term queer mean to you? Is it offensive? Is it a newly reclaimed word that affirms diversity that can’t necessarily be defined by conventional standards? Does defining your gender, your sexuality feel more like justification than identification?
What does gender fluid mean to you, if anything?
Is being open and honest and daring in your communications with your partner, or partners a desired thing for you? Can you be courageous in bending gender roles, if that is something you are curious or passionate about?
When you see someone that appears different from the norm (cross-dresser, androgynous, flamboyant, etc. ) what do you think about it? Does it bring up any feelings of curiosity, confusion, or comfort? What feelings come up for you that I haven’t listed here?
I wanted to ask these question of you, because there have been times in my life that I have not had the courage to ask these questions of myself. I did not want to ask these questions of myself because I was afraid of how linked I might be to things of this nature. And it turns out, asking some of these questions has opened up a lot of mysterious and life affirming doors for me.
So, if you are game, get out a notebook or your journal. Jot down all of these questions. Leave plenty of space between the questions for plenty of answers. Can you think of more questions around your sexuality, gender identity or relationships that might uncover some hidden treasures about you? Write them out too and have fun finding the answers.
Recommended reference materials:MY NEW GENDER WORKBOOK by Bornstein / HOW TO UNDERSTAND YOUR GENDER by Iantaffi & Barker